The Year was 1988 and I was in the 7th grade for the second time. There was this young bull, (well lets just call him David ) who looked like the OLD Michael Jackson (Jackson 5 Mike). He wanted to become my boyfriend (what ever that meant back then). Even though I was so-called in love with this other dude that wouldn’t give me the time of day, I said, “Yeah” to David being my boyfriend.
David had this little buddy (best friend) named Delmar, who happened to be the blackest boy I’d ever seen. He was the color of that real fat strong unbreakable plastic comb that you may have sometimes gotten hit with as a child. He was short, and had a fore-head for days! Let’s just say that in the 80′s, he wasn’t what was happening. Light skin guys ruled then. I can remember him always being around in the two months David and I were so-called together.
After maybe a peck of a kiss, David and I were done. We were so young and I was still sacred of going all the way. I remember going to Delmar’s house a few times looking for David, and I can remember playing and kidding around here and there. But I didn’t have as many memories as he had. He told me stories of him coming over my house through the years, and how he knew both of my cousins that I grew up with. Also, he remembers always seeing me at the neighborhood playground. Delmar knew me very well but he must have been invisible to me because I just remembered him by our mutual friend David. Any who, that’s how we met!
GOD Had A Plan
The year was 2001, I was on my way home from Community College. I was on the Subway going southbound. It was late because I took night classes and I was beat. Now, why was this strange man staring at me? Ok, I took my seat, and dude was still looking. I thought to myself, “Yes, I’m a little beautiful but… Hello, why are you staring dude?”Because it was late, it caused me feel a little uncomfortable. This crazy looking dude with these big brown glasses, thick plaid flannel jacket, and scully hat was creeping me out! Then he said, “Lisa,” I looked up, and I looked,
and I looked, and then I was like “ooooooooooooooooohhhh!” I couldn’t remember his name, but
who could forget that face! It was Delmar Gore. I got up and sat beside him. He knew I didn’t remember
his name, so, he told me. He asked what had I been up to.
“Church, school, getting my life together, you know walking with the Lord,” I responded.
I suggested he visit my wonderful church, and He told me he was planning to visit there anyway. That was just so funny how I’d invite him. We talked a little longer and then I got off of the train. Before I did, I told him I hoped to see him at one of our Sunday services.
When Delmar visited my church the first time, I had no idea he was there. Then, as I walked to class one day shortly after his visit, I walked smack dead into him (not literally). He had a warm hello hug for me and looked rather nice compared to how I first seen him on the subway (He was coming from work!) I gave him one of my freshly made business cards. It had details about the services I offered, my phone number, and email address. I didn’t know at that time that was the 1st way I’d win his heart, but it was. The fact that I was this go getter type woman made him want to get to know me even more.
Phone conversations were all we had at that time because our lives were rather busy with so many other things. But our friendship hit it off from the start because Delmar was also a Christian.
His next visit to the church, was very enlightening. I sat close to the back so I’d see him come in, and when he did… this man shook my soul. No, really. All I heard in my head was, “THAT”S MY HUSBAND.” Yes it was me saying that, but trust me I took it to my Daddy and waited for Him to say, ” No,” as always. But He didn’t. He said wait. Yet, Lisa never waits, and as long as He didn’t say no, I was like, YEAH!!!
Although I never said, “Hey Delmar let’s be more than friends,” he picked up on a lot of my vibes. One day, after I read him this poem that I claimed to not know the date, he blurts out, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” I was so offended, but who was I fooling? Dell was way too smart. So, I played it off like, “Uhhhh, I never asked you for one.”
After some time passed, he’d be back with his daughter’s mother again. Yeah, God told me to wait, there was someone in my way(baby momma). So, I fell back on my feelings (or so I tried) and remained a true friend. You know the kind of friend that tells you you’re with the wrong person (lol).
As our friendship grew, I pursued another relationship (DAUH). Delmar was still seeing his daughters mother even though it didn’t feel right. We’d talk for long hours about our relationships, life, and our past. We’d talk about everything. We became such great friends that he felt guilty for talking to me while he was still seeing his daughters mother. Then, after about three months of getting reacquainted, he shut me off, cut me out, said gotta stop talking to you cause it ain’t right. I was devastated.
When I got out of the homeless shelter, I wanted Dell to come check out my new blessing, my new low-income house. But he refused. Although we were only friends, my true feelings for Delmar were not hidden very well and he knew that I was falling for him. The scary part for him was that he was falling too. So, from May to July we were without conversation. Delmar says that not too long after we stopped talking he broke up with his girlfriend. Delmar said he kept hearing God speak to Him saying my name over and over. He also said he kept going over all of our conversations in his head and all this lead him to pursue me. I understood the scriptures that states, “A man who finds a wife finds a good thing,” but I wanted to do things in my time and not the Lords. So, I got my little feelings hurt. But what God had for me, was for me. I just needed to fall back (chill out) and be obedient. Then, there was my future husband calling me and asking when was he gonna see me.
How We Knew
Delmar and I had become best friends. Talking and sharing, laughing and building. But what made us get along so well was both of our personal relationships with The Lord. We were in agreement on what was right in life, and we had a lot of the same goals. This made it easy to have long fun conversations. We were also both in what the world would call rock bottom situations. He was in a half way house, and I was in a Christian homeless shelter. We both had other people telling us when and where we could go. But even though we were in those situations, we were inside of God’s will. And although to others it may seem depressing, we accepted it as a blessing because we knew we should have been dead.
I prayed, and I prayed. The last thing I wanted was to be outside of God’s will for my life. I had been in relationships that I chose for myself and been with guys that I loved, yet God would always tell me to leave. I had to listen to Him regardless of what I felt and wanted. It wasn’t easy, it hurt to the point that I wanted to die at times. So, this time God was not saying no. It was a miracle. I was so unworthy of a blessing like this! So I fasted and prayed even more, (just for conformation), the answer was still the same. “Yes, just take it slow and do things my way.”
Now, I won’t lie to you, we were hard-headed children and we fell into sin. We suffered for it, and we both got down on our knees in tears and prayed for forgiveness. We knew that we were meant to be because God told me that my husband would have this certain issue in his life and we’d connect in a way that no other could. When Dell and I connected in this major way, it grew Dell’s faith 10 billion times and we were convinced. Confirmation was in full effect (our secret)! God’s total peace came over us both and we couldn’t deny that we were madly in love with each other. There was absolutely no doubt. I’m telling you no doubts, and no maybe’s, no what if’s and what of’s. We knew that we knew.
“So are you my lady?”
“Yes, yes I am your lady”
It was like heaven on earth, a day I’ll never forget. Yeah my husband forgets sometimes, (well all of the time) about this anniversary, but I’ll never forget it for the rest of my life. I don’t mind that he forgets it because he never forgets our Wedding Anniversary. This day meant so much to me because I had waited (for what felt like all my life) for the day that I’d meet my husband, the man who would love me to death, inside and out. July 19, 2001 was the day it all became real. To be a wife was my dream, more than anything in life I wanted to be a wife and have a family. I use to listen to songs and long for a man to love me in such a way that He’d give his life for me (love me like Christ loved the Church). Now, here he was.
Our conversations were of marriage and how we’d build our lives. We were done with the games and we both had reached a point where settling down was our next step. We talked and we discussed things like partners and I received my engagement ring in April of 2002. Sorry, but neither one of us knows the exact date that he gave me the ring that I picked out myself. But we were engaged before the ring was placed upon my hand. Our engagement day was JULY 19th, 2001 (remember).
Throughout our relationship we had open communication. And there was no questions in regards to our next steps. God had spoken, and we heard Him loud and clear. We were to become one! I still dwell on our love and how it came to be. God didn’t have to bless me, but He did! I look at my husband and all I can do is praise God for His unconditional love, and His promises.
PICKING OUT MY OWN RING????
I had a dream one night that my husband bought me a black pearl for my engagement ring. I told him about my dream, and he worried that I wouldn’t like my ring because 90% of the gifts he had been buying for me I didn’t like. So, he told me to go to the store and look at the ring he had put money down on. If I didn’t like it, I was to pick out what I wanted. Now, I know what you are thinking, (that’s not romantic at all), but hey, I had to love my ring, he didn’t. (LOL) I was so excited about picking it out (of course I didn’t like what he picked out, but he has gotten much better at picking out gifts for me! lol). And that’s how that went down.