I remember when I first became a Christian I used to hear people say “God said, God told me, and God spoke to me” all the time. I wanted so badly to hear His voice and for Him to talk to me as well. I thought “How wonderful it would be for God to speak straight to me.” How many things would I be spared from if I could just hear His voice! I had to seek Him with all of my heart , mind, body, and soul. I’m so glad that I did, because now I understand what they mean when they sing, “He walks with me and talks with me and tells me that I am His own!”
1. Heat when it was cold
2. A.C. when it was hot
3. Food when I was hungry
4. Water when I was thirsty ( I really can’t over look these things!)
5. Growing my strength
6. Growing my wisdom
7. 39 years of life
8. Faithful Readers of my stuff (you, reading this are a blessing to me)
9. Staying in my marriage for 11 years
10. My sons safety (he alive!)
11. Good health
12. Saving/protecting me from dangers that I didn’t see!
(Oh this list can actually go on for a very long time!)
There are times in our lives when God is leading us to walk away from certain people, jobs, churches, and relationships. The purpose and reasons don’t always have to be due to negativity, that’s a very important thing to remember. Another important thing to remember is that everyone may not agree or be pleased with you moving forward and that’s ok. You may not even fully understand it at that point but when God has been leading you for a while, you come to appreciate all that He allows and whatever He doesn’t. Somethings you’ll see later on in life and smile, sometimes you’ll see it in the moment, and sometimes never.
The reason for this post today is to encourage anyone who may be struggling in a relationship as to what they should do and what direction they should go in as this new year approaches. I can remember being so confused and so afraid about making the wrong decisions based on staying and going. I was controlled by a fear of being alone; a fear that haunted me from the time I was 8 months old. Two things I needed to believe so that I could get to a place of peace and joy were:
1) With God in my life I AM NEVER ALONE.
2) The people He intends to stay & bless my life WILL (because they will be led by Him).
So ask Him into you life and heart 1st if you truly have not and then ask Him to show you in a way you will understand if you should stay or go…HE WILL SHOW YOU, so pay attention after you ask. He may use a stranger, a book, a T.V. show, a Facebook post (yes), and article, or you may hear a still small voice in your head that says something like “You know what you should do”. And even with all of this, He’ll even send another message just to confirm that you understood correctly! God is so awesome like that!
So 2014 is right around the corner and I know you want peace of mind in the choices that you make, so won’t you ask Him, won’t you seek Him, won’t you TRUST Him? For He is the only 1 that will never leave you or forsake you and I put my life on that!
Isaiah 41:17 “The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the LORD will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
Often times we tend to treat God like our earthly relationships and get upset and disappointed when we don’t receive something we’ve asked for or things don’t go our way. Understanding that He is all-powerful makes matters even worse because we are fully aware of the fact that He can, but He didn’t or He could allow it, but won’t.
Allowing my heart and mind to land on the same page is an ongoing process. I’ve cried to the point of depression because I’ve begged Him for things yet, was not blessed with them. It used to be very difficult for me to avoid becoming better when I was denied the things that I prayed for. One of the reasons is because my grandmother gave me any and everything I asked for. “No” didn’t seem to be a part of her vocabulary. And, in those rare moments that she did say no, one ounce of pain or discomfort on my face would change things very quickly. I was given gifts as a way of showing I was loved, as a reward, as a peace-offering, and as a silencer from my abuser. Is there any wonder that it was very difficult for me to hear “No” in my relationship with God?
As I’ve gotten older and I’m able to look back over my life, I’m so grateful for everything God did not give me and did not allow. I’m so thankful that He knows me better than I do myself and in knowing that, He knows what is best for me. I’ve learned to stop crying like a toddler who wants their parents to feed them candy all day and I began to trust him. I’ve learned to stop spazzing out and withdrawing from Him emotionally like a teenager who wants to go out to a party that is way past her curfew and I began to trust Him.
See, one of the awesome things about trusting Him 100% is that He knows the end of our story and what it will and won’t take to reach that awesome ending. He allows us to write the story, but we give Him the editing and publishing job when we give our lives over to Him. And in doing this, we can trust that it will be a bestseller.
Is it easy or hard for you to trust God?
Hello, my name is Shalena D.I.V.A., The Purpose Driven Diva and I am a guest blogger today on therelationshipstuff.com because I gotta get some things off my chest. Why am I abstaining from sex? IT’s a matter of yes and no. When I think about the times when I did have sex, I always had an empty feeling afterwards. I can’t quite explain it, but I did. Even after some of the best sex I ever had. Do I want to continue to feel that way after having sex…NO! Do I want to be with a man who doesn’t mind sleeping with me, but won’t commit to me in marriage? NO! Do I want to feel overly emotional and territorial over a man who doesn’t belong to me…NO! Do I want to be in a relationship where he only calls when he’s interested in having sex…NO! Do I want to run the risk of getting pregnant–HECK NO!
Since I have abstained, what have I started saying yes to? Do I think I’m worth the wait, OH YES! Does abstaining make me feel more attractive and beautiful, surprisingly YES! Does abstaining give me more confidence, SURPRISINGLY YES! Does abstaining from sex cause me to feel sexier, OMG…YES! HOW IS THAT? This is the sexiest I ever felt.
Now this is interesting. Does abstaining from sex help me to stay focused and achieve more goals, YES! Does abstaining help me with self-control, YES! Desiring to be with a man is NORMAL, but it doesn’t mean that I have to sleep with a guy because I find him attractive. I am learning this as I go along. No one ever taught me about this growing up. meaning people only said don’t have sex, yet they never gave me anything to say yes to. Ultimately, does abstaining make me feel like I’m pleasing God, YES! I will continue to flesh this out because I never realized that choosing to abstain opened up a world of possibilities in my life.. DEEP.
Please share any Thoughts!
Shalena D.I.V.A. is a ANTI-BULLYING EXPERT, CERTIFIED LIFE COACH, AUTHOR, AND SPEAKER. You can find out more about her at shalenadiva.com or by liking her Facebook page.
I know what it’s like to sit by the phone and hope that it will ring, to sit on the porch steps and hope that they will stop by. I also know what it’s like to be proposed to, purchase a marriage license, and then have it ripped up in my face! The pain and the heart-ache I’ve endured on my mission to find every lasting love was brutal to say the least. I am now in a place where I thank God that none of the relationships that I cried, prayed and begged Him to fix worked out. One way He used all those things to work out for the good is that I now know enough information to help and assist others not to make the same mistakes.
Have you had to walk away from someone and it cut you to the core?
The other day while I was reading my class assignment in Interpersonal Communication, I read a story about two best friends. The issue that arose was that both of them had applied to get a 20,000.00 scholarship for grad school but only one of them got it. The one girl that didn’t win couldn’t feel happy for her friend because she was upset and jealous that she didn’t get chosen. I thought this was horrible, although I remember how it feels to be on both of these sides.
There was a time in my life that my heart had conflict with joy and pain when it came to seeing others be blessed. I’m just so glad that isn’t a struggle anymore. So, why is it that a person can be your best friend and not have those happy feelings towards you when you are receiving a blessing? Usually things start at the root; do you know what is at the root of jealousy and envy? It is the very fact that certain people do not trust and believe that the blessings that God has intended for their life are going to be. They may even believe that nothing good is going to come their way and even if it does, it won’t satisfy them. They don’t believe in Jeremiah 29:11 which states,
If people don’t believe this, they tend to not do the work required to obtain the blessings. There are plenty of times that God will just send blessings our way without us lifting a finger, but reality is that if you want to become a Doctor and open your own clinic; you are going to have to put in some work for that dream to come true.
I have wanted things that others have been blessed with and my heart became torn and cold because God didn’t give them to me. But when I accepted the fact that my life and my path were designed to be different, I became very content with everything I had and everything I didn’t. Now when ever my friends or loved one receive a blessing, my heart fills with joy for them and my eyes with tears! There is no need for me to ever feel a twinge of hate, jealousy, or envy, because I know that what God has for me, it is for me, and it’s more than enough!