One of the love songs that I have on constant rotation (and by constant rotation I mean I play it back to back for hours -poor Dell- ) is “I Need” by TGT. The beat and voices are bananas but the lyrics rock my soul! 1 of the lines that I love so much in the chorus says “It ain’t never worth those scars that might not heal.” My, my, my. When I think about the things that I used to do and the things that people are currently doing in their relationships my heart feels a bit heavy. It’s a type of heavy that drives me to be so passionate about The Relationship Stuff’s movement.
Saying I love you is easy. No really, it is. Meaning it, standing by it, showing and proving it day by day is where the challenge comes in. When a mate is physically abusive , has sex outside of their marriage, or does other cruel things, they are NOT loving their mates in that moment.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Love is kind and patient,
never jealous, boastful,
proud, or rude.
Love isn’t selfish
or quick tempered.
It doesn’t keep a record
of wrongs that others do.
Love rejoices in the truth,
but not in evil.
Love is always supportive,
Love never fails!
Only parents can kick your behind while saying “This is hurting me more than it’s hurting you” and then when they are finished say “I did that because I love you so much.” Might I add that that’s only in cases where it’s dicipline and not child abuse.
So anyway, that line in the song speaks so loudly to my heart and I can imagine Mr. Gore wondering why I’m singing this song so darn hard… over and over and over again. Well, when I realized the things that I was doing to my husband were actually hurting him very deeply and causing our marriage to smell completely sour, forever seemed to be too long. Living together forever with a stinking marriage was never in our plans.
You see, when ever I was hurt by him (which is inevitable because he ain’t perfect) I’d love less and less. My love was so ridiculously conditional. The less I loved him, the more I couldn’t care less about his heart. My husband was the 1st guy/man that truly loved me. I had no idea what that looked like or felt like. Everything prior was completely unhealthy.
All my husband ever wanted and still wants is to cause me to be happy and filled with great joy. Why on earth would I want to love him less and show him less? How could I utter “You know that I love you” as if it had some weight to it when there were barely any actions to back that statement up?
I read “The Love Dare” and it changed my heart praise God. The book and the movie “Fire Proof” that it was based off of. They were truly a God send. I came to realize all of the dumb, petty, mean, and hurtful things that I was doing (big & small)
“It ain’t never worth those scars that might not heal.”
Do you have a favorite love song that speaks to your soul?