Often times when people have been victimized as children and their brain grows and develops around that fact, they have a hard time rising up out of that mindset when they become an adult.
The adult victim that I want to discuss today is the victim of “I Don’t Have Time For Me.” This person has many responsibilities and puts more on his/her table so that they can be loved, accepted, seen, or appreciated.
They cry and complain that they don’t have time for themselves because everyone is depending on them and they are a victim because the pressures of that makes them sad, drained and depleted. Because this is typically a woman’s struggle I’ll go in that direction.
She doesn’t have time for her hair to get done, to dress nicely for her husband (and herself), she doesn’t have time for the gym, girl time, me time, or anything else. She complains that she doesn’t even have time to read a book. She does everything…ALWAYS. Even when people try to step in and help, she says “no” because the burden seems normal and being a victim is all she knows, and sometimes it’s all she wants to know. Complaining to others may cause them to become sympathetic and she enjoys that. No one ever died because the laundry or the dishes had to wait while you did something for yourself.
Now I’m not saying that the duties of being a wife, mother, employee, ministry leader, and so on isn’t a busy and sometimes exhausting lifestyle, but what I am saying is that if you sigh up for things, it’s YOU who signed up for things. Sometimes God gives us things we don’t sign up for, but none of that makes us victims because He doesn’t give us more than we can bear. So don’t put on yourself more than you can bear and then cry and complain without ever ceasing. That isn’t healthy.
When I signed up for everything and everyone in the past I was so miserable. I took care of everyone except the person I was most responsible for…ME. Never again. You can break this unhealthy pattern if you are willing! But you must 1st see it as an issue and then be willing!
Here is a great resource to check out on this topic:
Have you ever felt like you never have time for what you love, want, or desire?