I remember when I first became a Christian I used to hear people say “God said, God told me, and God spoke to me” all the time. I wanted so badly to hear His voice and for Him to talk to me as well. I thought “How wonderful it would be for God to speak straight to me.” How many things would I be spared from if I could just hear His voice! I had to seek Him with all of my heart , mind, body, and soul. I’m so glad that I did, because now I understand what they mean when they sing, “He walks with me and talks with me and tells me that I am His own!”
Let me start off by stating that I love a good T.V. show, but as my husband and I were talking about certain shows and the images of the strong black power women, our hearts sadden.
How many girls and young women (sometimes older) desire to be an Olivia, Candice, or Mary Jane. Money, power, respect, in replace of true joy, morals, dignity, and a man to call her own. It’s sad to see side chicks and “main chicks” go back and forth proving they have something on the other as if either one of them has anything really.
The problem isn’t the shows, the problem comes in when women and girls go out in their real lives doing and being what is written for a show. All these little stupid love and hip hop type shows are saying this is who we are, this is who we’ve become, this is normal. Oh it’s so entertaining, but being played out in your reality it can kill your soul dead!
My point, let’s let T.V. stay on T.V. and live your real life abundantly!
Have you settled so much that you refuse to settle any more? I’d love to hear about it!
I remember a time when people used to assume I was conceited just because they stereo typed me. ( Not even aware that I suffered from self – hatred) In an effort to gain friends & acceptance, I’d dumb down everything about me. IMAGINE THAT!
People often dislike me now because my confidence is too much, I know it because I see it in their eyes when I push myself up and I hear it in their comments when I pat my own back. Those that know me, take the time to get to know me, or those that bother to read my autobiography will understand; those that don’t may or may not get it. But you know what… that’s perfectly fine! I have 1 life to live, I’m going to grow and shine, build and grind, work and be wonderful, be free and fly…HIGH! Today’s post is to suggest that YOU DO THE SAME!
Often times when people have been victimized as children and their brain grows and develops around that fact, they have a hard time rising up out of that mindset when they become an adult.
The adult victim that I want to discuss today is the victim of “I Don’t Have Time For Me.” This person has many responsibilities and puts more on his/her table so that they can be loved, accepted, seen, or appreciated.
They cry and complain that they don’t have time for themselves because everyone is depending on them and they are a victim because the pressures of that makes them sad, drained and depleted. Because this is typically a woman’s struggle I’ll go in that direction.
She doesn’t have time for her hair to get done, to dress nicely for her husband (and herself), she doesn’t have time for the gym, girl time, me time, or anything else. She complains that she doesn’t even have time to read a book. She does everything…ALWAYS. Even when people try to step in and help, she says “no” because the burden seems normal and being a victim is all she knows, and sometimes it’s all she wants to know. Complaining to others may cause them to become sympathetic and she enjoys that. No one ever died because the laundry or the dishes had to wait while you did something for yourself.
Now I’m not saying that the duties of being a wife, mother, employee, ministry leader, and so on isn’t a busy and sometimes exhausting lifestyle, but what I am saying is that if you sigh up for things, it’s YOU who signed up for things. Sometimes God gives us things we don’t sign up for, but none of that makes us victims because He doesn’t give us more than we can bear. So don’t put on yourself more than you can bear and then cry and complain without ever ceasing. That isn’t healthy.
When I signed up for everything and everyone in the past I was so miserable. I took care of everyone except the person I was most responsible for…ME. Never again. You can break this unhealthy pattern if you are willing! But you must 1st see it as an issue and then be willing!
Here is a great resource to check out on this topic:
Have you ever felt like you never have time for what you love, want, or desire?
Have you ever been around someone and no matter what sunshine comes into the room or what brightness comes into their lives they can not see happiness or the positive things in life? They call these people “Kill Joys” but the truth is you can’t kill true joy, yet, it can be stolen. But when a Negative Nancy steals your joy it isn’t to brighten her own mood, it’s stolen to be stepped on with her misery.
Often times people will pour all of their time, effort, and energy into trying to help these people cheer up, be happy, and think more positively. But when a person is not aware that they are sick, they tend not to visit the doctor. You can tell them they need to go to the emergency room all you want, but until they feel the pain (like really feel the pain) they won’t budge! And even then sometimes the pain is so normal to them that it’s just something they choose to carry everyday. They put band aids on things that call for surgery and they go through life infecting those they come in contact with.
Pain is not a reason to flee a relationship, but it is a reason you flee an Unhealthy Relationship. How can you tell if you are in an unhealthy relationship? Well, if you are emotionally healthy you will know, but here are 5 signs:
1) When you see their name pop up, you’re irritated or questioning if you should even answer your phone
2) You lie to protect their feelings (this also goes for with holding the truth)
3) You lie to get out of things with them (favors/spending time together)
4) You feel obligated to them and their happiness
5) Most of the time when you leave each other you are worst off than before
Sometimes people change and sometimes they don’t. Some relationships are worth the hard effort and some are not. Each one is different and if you are working on yourself and you are a healthy minded individual, you will know which is which; and in hard cases you can seek advice. Here is my breife advice on the matter:
Only consider staying in a relationship with a “changing for the better” person.
Here are 5 signs a person is changing for the better:
1) They acknowledge they have issues
2) They apologize for their negative behavior and don’t repeat it
3) They catch themselves quicker in their mess
4) You start to feel different (better) when they are in your presence
5) They are actively or have sought out counsel or accountability
I hope this help. It’s a new year and a new day. It’s time to live life more abundantly as we all should! Helping others is great, but their are people (LIKE MYSELF)
that actually get paid to do so. Get healthy in every area of your life, this Relationship Stuff is KEY!