The other day I posted this on our Facebook page, “#1 rule on how to get a great man : know how to pick 1.”
It may have seemed simple and obvious but the truth is most women want a great man in their hearts but have the faintest idea about how to go about it; and sadly they are not willing to humble themselves and ask.
I was listening to a woman coach a struggling family the other day and she said that “most women marry their father, who he was, is, or who they think he should have been.” That made so much sense to me. My father for the most part wasn’t present. He always came and left, as did all of the men/boys that I was going after. There were a bunch of other things that I can save for another topic, but the main point I’m making is that if your father was not present or not a great dad, then it’s not wise to end up seeking out that type of man for yourself, consciously or unconsciously.
Here are a few rules one should follow:
The first thing I had to do was FIND A GREAT MAN TO MODEL THE EXAMPLE BEFORE ME. You are very fortunate if that can be your dad, but if not you may have to look around a bit. A great man that is older, has a wife, is starting a family or has one. He works, takes care of his family, adores his wife, respects his mother, and is admired by men and women. I looked to my old Pastor. Some pastors are shady, I know, but not Pastor Jones. He kept it real and he truly had a heart for his people.
READ, READ, READ books that teach men how to love and treat their wives. This helps you to build boundaries and standards on what you should allow in your life. We may think we know how we want to be treated but when we accept too little our hearts feel it and yearns for true love. Knowing what we should be waiting for and how we should be treated as women is important and sometimes we have to teach ourselves. And we all learn by reading and watching. CLICK HERE TO VIEW A FEW BOOKS
If you are confident, secure, patient, and ready, you’re probably on your way to meeting that guy right now. But if you have found yourself in failed relationship after failed relationship with all the Mr. Wrongs, you should probably do some “Self Work”. Self work can consist of your reading books on how to become a desirable woman (FREE BOOK) or getting a mentor or life coach. I mean let’s face it and be honest, you train and school yourself on all the other things you desire in life; education, career, dreams, and so on; why not become a winner at love? Even us married folk have mentors and accountability partners that help us through, that’s the wise thing to do. Working on my mind, my body, and my soul/spirit, was the best thing I could have done for myself back in 2000/2001, because when my man appeared he was so attracted to who I was.
Sometimes you can think you are doing all the right things until you get before someone and run it all down. Getting another persons perspective that is unbiased may be just what you need.
Do not rule someone out just because they don’t match your ideal or fantasy 100%. Be open to men from other races and even a man coming fresh out of jail! Yes I said it. He may need some time to get his self established, but even he can be a GREAT MAN… trust me!
Words from a great man : Delmar Gore
Question: What should a woman do if she is trying to attract a great man?
“#1 Have a true relationship with God. Be a god-fearing woman of integrity.
#2 Be herself and don’t hide. Don’t order salad if you really want steak.
#3 Have a vision, goals, and dreams and be pressuring them.
#4 Have a positive encouraging attitude and not be one that downs a man and only looks at his flaws.”