Often times we tend to treat God like our earthly relationships and get upset and disappointed when we don’t receive something we’ve asked for or things don’t go our way. Understanding that He is all-powerful makes matters even worse because we are fully aware of the fact that He can, but He didn’t or He could allow it, but won’t.
Allowing my heart and mind to land on the same page is an ongoing process. I’ve cried to the point of depression because I’ve begged Him for things yet, was not blessed with them. It used to be very difficult for me to avoid becoming better when I was denied the things that I prayed for. One of the reasons is because my grandmother gave me any and everything I asked for. “No” didn’t seem to be a part of her vocabulary. And, in those rare moments that she did say no, one ounce of pain or discomfort on my face would change things very quickly. I was given gifts as a way of showing I was loved, as a reward, as a peace-offering, and as a silencer from my abuser. Is there any wonder that it was very difficult for me to hear “No” in my relationship with God?
As I’ve gotten older and I’m able to look back over my life, I’m so grateful for everything God did not give me and did not allow. I’m so thankful that He knows me better than I do myself and in knowing that, He knows what is best for me. I’ve learned to stop crying like a toddler who wants their parents to feed them candy all day and I began to trust him. I’ve learned to stop spazzing out and withdrawing from Him emotionally like a teenager who wants to go out to a party that is way past her curfew and I began to trust Him.
See, one of the awesome things about trusting Him 100% is that He knows the end of our story and what it will and won’t take to reach that awesome ending. He allows us to write the story, but we give Him the editing and publishing job when we give our lives over to Him. And in doing this, we can trust that it will be a bestseller.
Is it easy or hard for you to trust God?