hatersSome people’s definition of friendship is: I continually cause drama and put you through hell, yet, you stay right there and walk with me through it.  It is that lack of logic that has left some people wondering where their friends have gone. Some people are also under the impression that length means depth. Lets say you have known someone since you were a child but later in life your values and desires changed. Your childhood friend isn’t growing or going in the same direction as you are. If you proceed and move on, some have been known to call this “an untrue friend” or “forgetting where you came from.” But if you have not in fact forgotten where you have come from and decided you just want more out of life and your friendships, then that is something to be applauded and not thought of in a negative light. Some people will treat you so badly and you won’t even realize it until you become emotional healthy and start to love and treat yourself in a good way. This is what was happening to me in many of my relationships. Things that I had allowed previously were still being tried but the new me wasn’t having it. It was a sure surprise to one of my “friends” because for so long she was able to use me and treat me how ever she saw fit. I’d be hurt but I’d never pay attention to my hurt until it was too late. I’d either become depressed and withdraw or I’d become so angry and bitter that I’d lash out and act unfriendly. The saying that “people will treat you how you allow them to” is very true. A lot of people were shocked when I didn’t allow them to treat me any kind of way and get away with anything and we still remain friends. They were more shocked though when I chose to discontinue the friendship based on their lack of growth in their own personal lives. Lets just say I need to surround myself with certain types of people; positive, motivated, go-getters, pushers, encouragers, constructive critics, to name a few. It’s very important for you to define what friendship is and isn’t when people come along. Some will stay and some will go regardless because that is the process of life. But one should never feel entitled to friendship if they are in fact not being a true friend, and if they are you should do them a favor and make them aware of the fact that they are in fact not.

Has someone ever told you you were not a true friend but you disagreed?

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