If you get into a bed and sleep for 3 months straight does that mean you are in a coma? If you get into a relationship and get beat for 3 months straight does that mean you are in a coma?
I’m sorry. I love you. This won’t happen again. The lies keep coming and the beatings never end. They say it’s the last time; you have to know it’s not true. He just wants you to stay, and that’s just what you do. Why must we be so weak, it should never reach this length? Why can’t we be a little strong, just enough to find strength? You don’t like to be abused, the beatings you hate. You keep saying one day you’ll leave, but one day may be too late. You won’t just be leaving him, but this whole entire world. All because he couldn’t stop beating you girl! Are you afraid to leave and fear what he may do? You feel so dead inside, he’s already killing you. Yes, you love this man but you must think of your health. How can you truly love him when you’re not loving yourself? You believe you deserve better, yet you continue to stay, hoping and praying that he will change one day. With GOD, all things are possible, a man can change. But if you never let him go, he’s bound to be the same. Leaving is hard; I know this is not an easy task. But you will rejoice when you are freed, and the bad days have passed.
I understand abuse all too well. I know the pain it causes and the scars it leaves behind. God gave man a woman to love and cherish and she was to help him have a successful life. She was never ever meant to be his play toy or his punching bag. I am an advocate for women teaching others how to love them if they don’t know how and sometimes that means walking away for some time or permanently.
Here are some ways to break free if you are being abused by your lover or husband. (These are not in any set order.)
1) Tell, tell, tell!
When you expose what is going on, that means someone can help and that your abuser is found out. They will have to face those willing to step up and sometimes that is scary enough for them to stop and get help.
2) Call an abuse hotline.
They will be able to give you a step by step process so that you won’t feel confused or alone.
3) If you are being beaten to a bloody pulp you need to dial the police 1st and foremost.
Loving yourself enough to protect yourself is your #1 priority.
4) Get out of the house and stay with a trusted person.
If you are in serious danger, you may need to go to a Domestic Violence Center so that the abuser cannot find you. If you go to your relative’s house they may come there first.
5) File a restraining order.
This is for your protection. Sometimes just knowing that they can go to jail will keep your abuser away from you.
6) Seek out some counseling.
Abuse often takes a tole on you mentally more so than physically. It’s important to see someone sometimes even if you think that you are OK so that the healing process can be complete.
7) Find books in the library or purchase them and read stories about how women survived being abused.
This will help you to not feel alone and to have hope.
8) Don’t believe that because you are a Christian that you are not supposed to leave.
This is very important. Some people have been telling others that they are never to leave their mate no matter what and that simple isn’t true. Our first priority as a human being is to love ourselves. We can’t even begin to love God or anyone else for that matter if we don’t start with the basics. A separation for your safety is not a divorce so please don’t let anyone convince you of such.
9) Pray but also take action.
Do not sit still and wait for things to change. Pray and make things change by taking serious action.
10) Do not return to the relationship until there is a proven change.
Sometimes this takes time, and lots of it. Sometimes a person never changes and you have to accept that as well. But never go back to the same situation and allow your abuser to continue on with unacceptable behavior. That just isn’t love on either part.
I hope this list has helped someone!
Do you have any suggestions that I may have missed? Please feel free to share or comments on how you survived an abusive situation yourself.