Welcome to Part two of “The Truth About Marrying Bad Sex.” Just like in Part 1, these are all scenarios based on true stories yet the names have been changed to protect people’s privacy. Please keep an open-minded while reading these realities and if you have any questions you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave them in the comment section below. And thank you for being here!
Jamal and Stacy met on an online dating website. Stacy decided to join a Christian dating site because she desired marriage but was very busy working on her career and really didn’t have time to socialize. Jamal was tired of church women saying one thing and being another, so he felt better about getting to know someone a lit bit through online communication. He wanted a good woman and he was looking to settle down. After emailing, talking on the phone, texting, and getting to know each other, they met in person for their 1st date and fell fast for each other.
Although they both agreed on “No Sex until Marriage” Stacy was afraid that if Jamal didn’t please her sexually, she’d end up straying. She was hoping and praying for the whole package but “sexually unfulfilled” was a reality to a lot of her married friends. After one of their amazing date nights, Stacy put the works on Jamal and seduced him. She discovered her answer and they married with a year 1/2.
Seven years down the road they started to have major issues. Stacy became so dictative and controlling when it came to the kids, the house, the money and everything. It began to turn Jamal off so much that he wasn’t lost his sexual attraction towards her. Jamal withdrew more and more; so much so that they were only having sex once a month. Their sex life suffered a blow like never before. Stacy blamed Jamal and Jamal blamed Stacy until they finally decided to seek professional help.
Charles and Kelly were childhood friends from the same neighborhood. After years of living life, they ran back into each other. Both of them were Christians and looking to settle down. They also both had issues with setting proper boundaries. After a few months of getting to know each other again, they committed to a relationship and began to have sex. Although the sex was great, the guilt they felt afterwards was terrible. Desiring to live their lives right before God, they married before they had reached a full year in courtship.
Years went by, life went on, but so did the pounds. Kelly became severely depressed because after years of trying she was unable to conceive. She became an emotional eater as a result of her depression. The more weight she gained, the more depressed she became and she felt trapped in a vicious cycle. Slowly but surly Charles lost his attraction towards her, inner and outter. In fear of hurting her feelings he never said a word, but she could tell he no longer desired her. Sex (when they had it) was more like a release for him and a duty for her. The pleasure was gone and they had no clue how they would begin to get it back, but they wanted to.
When Robert and Rachel met there was no question in either of their minds that they were meant to be together. They had sex within their first week of meeting and didn’t miss a week! The passion and pleasure was on and popping! They moved in together and never looked back. After a 3 year relationship, they married and within 6 months got pregnant. When Rachel became a mother her priorities shifted immediately. She wanted to give her child everything she didn’t have and more. Robert began to feel neglected and he made it known. He demanded that they keep up the same sexual speed as in the beginning because that’s what he thought he was marrying into. Rachel began to feel used and unappreciated and withdrew even further. When she did have sex with Robert it was just to keep him quiet and away from another woman’s bed, but she found no pleasure in it. Robert was fully aware of that fact and he desired to bring passion back into her eyes so he too could feel great about the overall experience.
He also tried his best to fight off the feelings of sleeping with a few women that flirted with him constantly at his job but he was getting weak. He began to resent Rachel for not living up to her wifely duties.
3 case scenarios…SO WHAT WOULD YOU DO?