Those days are over where I worked extremely hard to gain the acceptance of people. There was a time (and still are) when all I had to do was walk into the room and be myself and I was immediately hated. Whether it was my loud personality, my decorative colorful attire, or the beauty that God has blessed me to carry wherever I go, I was simply hated. I’d walk into the room and automatically instead of gaining friends, i’d receive looks and taunts as if to say “who does she think she is?”
Sometimes people assume because you’re physically attractive that you’re also popular. I’ve found that I am stereotyped because of my appearance. It was almost easier to be accepted with low self-esteem then it is to be accepted when you have confidence. But that did not mean I was going to stop seeking to be confident because that is what was best for me. So as I continue to live my life in abundance, my circle becomes smaller and smaller and probably to most it’s invisible. But guess what, I’m very comfortable with that. The only people that I desire in my circle are the people willing to love and embrace the true me, offer constructive criticism when needed, and add value to my life. Not many people are willing to do that, so not many people are invited in my circle.
When I made the decision to stop living for the approval of others, I began to focus on pleasing my God, myself, my husband, and my child. In this I’ve found joy and true fulfillment. I have friends, but not too many; that is the way that I desire it. Because when I love, I go all in, and I cannot go all in for a large amount of people, not anymore. What I do have to offer is my books, my artistry, my coaching, my blogs, my writings, my speaking, my rapping, and my poetry. That is what I have to offer to the masses.
I want to encourage anyone that is struggling with people pleasing and putting everyone else’s needs before their own to stop, listen to your heart, know what your priorities and responsibilities are, do the best that you can, and forget the rest. Because people will hate you even when you are the most loving, there is nothing you can do about that. My prayer is that it never controls who you are or who you become.
Self-Love isn’t evil, It’s God Given.Matthew 22:36-39 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.