Being a woman who grew up with out ever hearing the word boundaries I really didn’t have an understanding of what they truly were or how they worked. When people had boundaries I misinterpreted them and felt hurt.
The lack of boundaries in my life would cause me to open myself up to many painful situations and reckless relationships. Something as simple as “YOU WILL NOT PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME” wasn’t even in my scope of “DON’T DO”.
There is something inside of us all that singles when something is being done to us that shouldn’t be, but when your boundaries are violated like mine were at such a young age you can become very confused and misguided. Usually a woman who gives her body away for nothing as if it has no value has been in a situation where things were taken from her without her will. She starts to devalue herself because of sexual abuse and other harmful things. And there are cases where abused women do the exact opposite and place so many boundaries up that no one can get it, not even true love. Neither is healthy.
Because people have different boundaries , weak boundaries, or no boundaries at all, they may challenge yours. If your boundaries are for the good and they are set up in an emotionally healthy manner, DO NOT allow anyone to cross them. There may come a time where you will lean a little to the left and to the right for certain people and in certain situations, but for the most part if you have taken the time to think through what works best for your life and your family, your boundaries should stay in place.
I have boundaries in my Coaching Practice and one of them is that I won’t coach men. It really does not matter what their deal is, I won’t do it. I have that boundary set up so that no one can be compromised period. He can’t fall for me, I can’t fall for him and my husband won’t worry, simple because there are no men allowed. It is possible to coach men and none of that ever take place, but I’ve decided that it’s not worth it.
A book that I read really helped me to understand and define my boundaries and I want to recommend it to you, even if you have great boundaries set in place. If you have never read this book it would add to your life so please give it a try!And as always, thanks for reading!