Attraction will bring you together, interest will get you to talking, chemistry will lead you to courtship and or dating, sparks will cause you to become engaged, and love, real love will having you saying I do. This is how it works most of the time and I think that’s an awesome plan myself. But when I hear people say Love is all we need and love kept us together, that’s not all the way true. Why, well because we are not loving our mates 100% 24/7 perfectly. There are times when we are so mad at our mates that we don’t do or say loving things. Love is an action word, meaning it has to be going on and moving not just sitting there like a plaque on the shelf. Here let me give you a few examples. The man who treated his wife so delicately and kind before he married her now sits on the sofa, doesn’t work, cook, clean, or romance her. He just sits, eats and sleeps. He doesn’t date her and he barely talks to her. Maybe he’s depressed because he lost his job, (who knows, he’s not communicating). The point is in his state he’s not loving anyone by moping around. And when the wife cries out, “You don’t love me any more” he points to the shelf (the past) at the plaque that states the he does love her and believes that should be enough.
What about the wife that says she love her husband yet she goes out and talks about him behind his back in a hateful way to her girlfriends and that guy on her job that always seems to be there to listen? Soon she develops feelings for him and her heart moves further away from her marriage. She will argue that she loves her husband so much, the only problem is that he doesn’t love her back and give her the attention she needs.
How about the man who tells everyone he loves his wife and even believes that he does yet he controls and beats on her? Now I know that it’s obvious to most that he really doesn’t love her, it’s impossible to believe that someone truly loves you in a marriage if they never do anything to show it? But what about the marriages where the love is there for the most part but then when we fail (as we will because we are not perfect)? Love may not always look like and action word, but it’s not happening without it either. And it could very well be moving behind the scenes where you can’t see it, but it should be moving more than it’s not. For instance love sets up boundaries when their spouse isn’t around and puts them into action when necessary and or tempted. But what helps you to KEEP them when you are not feeling so hot and Lovie dovie? Like I stated before, we do not love perfectly, and as long as we are on earth we never will. Only God can love perfectly.
So with all of that said here is my answer to what will keep us all married; it’s called a COMMITMENT. It’s ALL about keeping that commitment when love fails. Love causes you to make the commitment, but the commitment causes you to keep on loving over and over again. And when that love fails and the other spouse is hurting because they are not being loved in that moment (however long or short the moment is), that COMMITMENT keeps them from setting down an unloving path of destruction.
I’m convinced that most people break up because they drop their commitment in moments when love is lost or seems to be. But you see, love comes back and it’s even strengthened when you stick and stay and survive storms.
Now when you are not married and you leave someone that’s different. But I believe in my heart that marriage is supposed to be for life, that is what the Bible teaches. And there are situations that will cause you to want to leave and then there are situations where you have to leave. I understand that, but what I’m saying here today is that if most people stayed committed, then love would grow enough to the point that even when it runs low or disappears for a while, you’d forgive, press on and stay together. Love may get you married but commitment is what keeps you!