Ok, so I just wrote my face off once again on the networking site I often visit. I had so much to say in my comments, I figured why not blog about this! You know sence I had so much to say.
Someone had written in to a Dear Abby type thing and had this question; “Is it wrong to tell someone how much they hurt you even though you have not seen them since it happened in 1982? Signed, I still remember what you did back in ’82!” So, off to the races the people went with all of their assumptions. It was insane to me and I was saddened because this goes on far too much. People having too much to say without enough information. Here are a few responses to the LIMITED question.
” What if the person had died…? Would they still carry that hurt with them or let go? Forgiveness comes without conditions.. If u forgive remember to forgive yourself too…even for allowing yourself to be placed in that situation in the first place. But seriously…forgiveness of the other person never expects or even commands and apology from their side as they may be unaware of what they’ve done. The best you can do is forgive and as you do that, commit it into God’s Hands.”
“I am hoping the year is meant figuratively, as in a LONG time AGO, and not literally, as in this really happened in 1982! If it is literal, I would advise this person to concern themselves more with ridding themselves of that root of bitterness. I really feel bad for the person dealing with this..That’s a long time to be bound up.”
” I would think that after all those years all the hurt is gone and you could fondly say how naive I was or wow I’m really glad i crossed that bridge cause if you’re a good person and you treat people how you want to be treated that person who hurt you is the one who suffer you might not know it but it’s in the eyes to see.”
“She is giving him too much Power. Keep it moving. It’s not her job to tell him nothing. GOD CAN HANDLE THAT!” ~Look up at the question again~
Alright, I will admit, I was a bit irritated because the person who asked this question could very well been reading these comments and been mislead and misguided. These people… well here is what I had to say in response to the question and the people.
Not having more info on this question, I will just keep it simple. Too many comments are answering with assumptions to the rest of this story. 1st assumption, it’s a she. 2nd assumption, it had to do with a guy/dating thing. 3rd assumption, the person NEVER forgave before, (because you know sometimes you have to forgive again, and again,) 4th assumption, they have been bitter all these years. 5th assumption, they have not moved on. Ok, there are more but I wont bore you any longer when I know (hope) you get the point by now. So, the answer to the question is “NO, it is not wrong.”
So many times people rush to give advice and answers without enough of the facts, not only about the situation, but also about the person. Maybe they have forgiven the person. Just because you remember being hurt by someone, that doesn’t mean you have not forgiven them. Just ask a rap victim if she still remembers getting hurt by her abuser. You can be living your life all happy and la la, and then something happens to trigger old emotions and you feel the bang on your heart all over again. We are human, created to feel, so this is where the FORGIVE again comes into play (if NEED BE).
Here is another thought, what if the person who is asking this question is referring to a child molester? I know I still need to confront mine even though I have forgiven him. There will come a day and time when I will let him know how much he hurt me. Maybe he does know, because I sure nuff told his wife she should buy my book and it’s all in there! But anyway, do you all hear what I’m saying? JUST BECAUSE YOU REMEMBER or are TRIGGERED, that doesn’t mean you have bitterness and unforgiveness. And you can’t just look down and scream “Get over it!” when you have no clue what “IT” actually is. Ok, im done
In closing, I just want to ask everyone to listen more, speak less, and get all the facts before you give advice. And if you are dealing with a person, ask them if they would like your advice, they may not even want it.