One morning I woke up and turned my phone on as usual, and there was a
friend request from an ex of mine that I had already denied. I refused them and
kept it moving. Months later he sends another one, and then another ex sends
another one too! I’m thinking to myself “They must not understand
This then lead me to think about the many people who are married and on Facebook without any
boundaries set up or in place. They either don’t know how to, or they are
refusing to respect them. At any rate, I decided to come up with the ten most
important boundaries while being married and on Facebook. These are all my
opinion, but I do wholeheartedly believe in them.
BOUNDARY #1: Do Not be “friends” with you ex. Period, point-blank,
end of story.
You would be surprised at how many people don’t think this should be a
standard. My ex seen me and my pictures and the next thing I knew he sent me an
inbox tel…ling me I was so beautiful?????I put everything on private right
after that! Some people cheat and when they get caught say “it JUST
happened” nooooooo, long before IT happened there were many boundaries
crossed. So in a nut shell the boundary isn’t there because something will FOR
SURE happen, it’s there so nothing ever will, feel me. Because anyone can say
they have moved on in their heart and even mean it, looking at your Facebook
pictures and talking and chatting from time to time could re-ignite a fire NO
BOUNDARY #2: Do NOT seek marital help from people’s opinions.
Lots of times women seek answers from their single never married friends
and it’s not beneficial to their marriage at all. That is not to say they can’t
at times speak good wisdom, but I really believe a lot of the issues that come
up in marriage are hard to figure out when you’ve never been there. Let me add,
a wife that is getting her butt kicked has a single friend that tells her to
“get away from him” is very good advice! Yet, at the same time, if
you are having issues with like sex or something, maybe talking to her and
getting her advice won’t be beneficial. This isn’t 100% across the board, but
for the most part.
BOUNDARY #3: Do not argue or put your mate on BLAST in your status.
This brings division and causes others to see when your marriage is in
trouble. And those people who you think are just friends of the opposite sex,
may make their little move when they see your boat being rocked. Some people
act like we can’t decode their “hidden” messages. I remember one time
my husband was upset with me and his status said “Delmar Gore is a tired man-only if yall
knew what I was tired of. God help me!!” And all of these females came
from out the wood works trying to get more info and encourage him. See, I think
it’s just a very unwise thing to do.
BOUNDARY #4: DO NOT BE ON FACEBOOK AND NOT EVEN A LEAST BE ON YOUR MATES FRIEND
You would think that this is a no brainer, but you’d be surprised.
BOUNDARY #5: DO NOT TALK TO YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS AND/OR FACEBOOK STATUS MORE
THAN YOU TALK TO YOUR MATE.
No explanation needed?
BOUNDARY #6: DO NOT HAVE LATE NIGHT CONVERSATIONS IN PRIVATE WITH THE OPPOSITE
YES BOUNDARIES ARE STRICT WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE, BUT WHEN YOU TAKE
THAT OATH (WITH YOUR MATE, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WITH GOD) YOU ARE SAYING THAT
YOU ARE GOING TO GIVE UP A LOT AND SACRIFICE A LOT, AND DIE TO YOUR SELF A LOT,
AND THEN A LOT MORE. THAT’S IF YOU WANT IT TO WORK.
BOUNDARY #7: DON’T ALLOW YOUR PAGE TO BE AN OPEN WINDOW TO EVERYTHING THAT GOES
ON IN YOUR HOME!
PEOPLE ARE SMART ENOUGH TO READ YOUR subliminal MESSAGES.
BOUNDARY #8: PROMPTLY DELETE ANYONE, yes anyone, THAT YOUR MATE HAS ISSUE WITH.
An issue like, “hey babe, I’m really not comfortable with them being
on your friend list.” It’s really not worth it.
BOUNDARY #9: DON’T HAVE A SEPARATE (SECRET) PAGE SET UP THAT YOUR MATE DOESN’T
FURTHER MORE, IF YOUR MATE HAS AN ISSUE WITH YOU HAVING A PAGE ALL
TOGETHER FOR ANY REASON, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE A PAGE. MAYBE THEY ARE BEING INSECURE;
MAYBE THEY HAVE A REASON TO BE AND MAYBE THEY DONT. THE POINT IS, YOU MARRIED
THAT PERSON! AND THEY HAVE TO BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN A DARN FACEBOOK PAGE, THEY
JUST HAVE TO.
BOUNDARY #10: (if you don’t already) SET BOUNDARIES, RESPECT THEM, ACCEPT THEM,
REQUIRE THEM, APPRECIATE THEM, AND OBEY THEM!
Do not fool yourself and think that you don’t need them, not only on
here, but inside of your marriage life everyday! “Just as God drew a
boundary to protect Adam and Eve, setting clear boundaries in marriage
safeguards us from temptation and cultivates deeper intimacy.” Robin